Yes I know that it has been some time since I last posted but things have been happening in my life that I am forced to deal with. These are dark and painful things. These are things that I never thought would ever happen to me. Sad things, hurtful things and heart breaking things.
DH has gotten on a train and is going full steam ahead in the other direction. It has come clear to me that I have no choice in this matter, this is his journey to take. He will not even slow down to look behind him until this matter is well underway and his journey has reached its first destination.
In the meantime, my family has been ripped apart and the house is being prepared to be sold. This summer I will get my own place. I will embark on a new phase of my life as a single woman. Maybe this is something that I should have experienced when I was 20 not at ??. (yeah like you really thought that I was actually going to divulge my real age) How did I get to this point? The answer is never clear. My past, present and definitely future is covered in the thick fog of uncertainty and is being held there by fear. Maybe when I stop being afraid will I be able to face the future head on with the confidence that I know is somewhere deep inside me.
So until that time, as my friend Sarah says "be calm and carry on". My friend Taph tells me, I cannot change the decisions of the past but be mindful of the decisions that I make from now on. Here's to making the very best decisions from now on.
All I can do is cry when I must and laugh when I can and just take it one day at a time.
Until next time
Yours in Yarn,